WASHINGTON, D.C. — Citing the fact that he already lives in Washington and is “kinda familiar” with the job duties, former President Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) has offered to fill-in for President Trump, should the federal government shut down.
The threat of a government shutdown has been looming and growing larger with each passing moment that the Republican-controlled congress fails to pass a temporary spending resolution onto Trump’s desk. The political struggle over the budget deal escalated as Democrats pressured Republicans to fund the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) and extend protections to Dreamers — people brought to the U.S. as minors by undocumented parents. In the Senate, Republicans would be reliant upon at least some Democrats to help pass the budget resolution, however, Republicans like Rand Paul have already signaled that they are not in favor of the resolution, and would not vote for it.
Obama, on his way out to pick up the dry cleaning for former First Lady Michelle Obama, was stopped by reporters and asked about the looming shutdown. He said it would be a “shame if Republicans can’t manage things even when they control literally the entire government.” But that should a shutdown come to pass, he would step in for Trump, who will be in Florida at his Mar-A-Lago estate, which he calls the Southern White House, unless the government shuts down. That is a change from Trump’s previous plans to go to Florida regardless, but Obama says Trump should “feel free to take some time off anyway.”
“Hey, I’ve really enjoyed my time off after eight long years of actually working and not just tweeting and golfing,” Obama said. “But if you guys need a pinch-president, I’ll be your Huckleberry for a couple weeks…couple months…until Bob Mueller finishes his investigation…you know, whenever.”
Obama said that while it may be “like riding a bike at first,” he’s sure he can “get back into the swing of things” in a relatively short period of time.
“Kinda feels like I still got my hands on the economy anyway,” Obama said.
Constitutionally, Obama says he’s on solid footing, as he’d only be serving using his “temporary Sharia president guidelines” which he secretly slipped into the Constitution in 2011, “just in case,” he said.
“Besides, no one elected me to a third time; I’d just be sort of, you know, keeping the lights on and the seat warm,” Obama said with a smile.
Security shouldn’t be an issue, at least according to President Obama.
“I hid a key under a bush on the front lawn, so unless Sean Spicer picked it up, I can let myself in,” the former president said.
The White House did not respond to requests for comment on this story.