Norwegian Woman Says She’d Never Live In Shithole Countries Without Universal Healthcare

Yesterday, word broke across the globe that President Donald Trump would prefer that the United States cut off the flow of immigrants from countries he deems to be a “shithole.”

“Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?” Trump said, according to these people, referring to countries mentioned by the lawmakers. (WaPo)

Trump’s derogatory statements were directed at countries like Haiti, El Salvador, and various African countries. The remarks came during a meeting on immigration reform, held at the White House with Congressional Democrats and Republicans. The comments caused shock and outrage among Trump critics, while Trump defenders excused his comments by saying he speaks bluntly, and that he might be right, if not coarse, about the economic state of countries like Haiti.

Mr. Trump denied making the statements this morning, via Twitter.

During the meeting, Trump intimated that he’d rather see people from Norway and other similar countries immigrate to America. Whether or not he meant to imply that black immigrants are less welcome than white ones, the fact remained that the president seemed to denigrate mostly black countries while elevating mostly white ones. The White House denies any racial animus.

The Pastiche Post caught up with Sofie Larsen, a 32 year old citizen of Norway. Larsen is active on social media and has a medium-sized blog and YouTube channel. We asked her if she thinks a lot of Norwegians would take President Trump’s suggestion and move to the U.S.

Ms. Larsen pulled no punches in her dubiousness of Trump’s suggestions.

“Um, no. I don’t think I, or any other Norwegian with half a brain cell left is going to voluntarily move to such a shithole country,” Sofie told us. “I mean, you guys have a mass shooting like every other day there, which to me sounds like a war zone.”

Larsen said if the rampant gun violence wasn’t enough to turn most Norwegians off to America, the lack of basic human services would be the “icing on the terrible tasting cake.”

“You guys have an obesity epidemic because you have a dwindling middle class that can only afford shit food because they can’t get good jobs, only shit jobs,” Larsen said. “And what happens when I’m either shot by some fat, trigger happy cop, or get cancer? You have no universal healthcare, and if you ask me, paying taxes in the 21st century and not getting at least basic healthcare services out of the deal makes you the shithole country.”

You can read satire like this every day on The Political Garbage Chute and Alternative Facts.

More satire:

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