Mr. Ed And Seabiscuit Deny President Trump Is A Stable Genius

In a joint press release, Mr. Ed, and Seabiscuit — both Equine Americans — seemingly refuted statements made in tweets from President Donald Trump.

In a series of early morning tweets, Trump defended himself against a growing feeling — encouraged by stories from the explosive new book from Michael Wolff about his administration — that the president may have mental health issues. By the end of the tweet-rant, Trump had declared that since he won the presidency on his first try (despite having actually run for president once before in 2000, but not securing a nomination), he was a “not smart but genius…and a very stable genius at at that!”

The joint press release from Mr. Ed and Sea Biscuit sought to distance not just themselves, but the entire horse population of America, from the president.

“We cannot confirm in any way, shape or form that President Donald J. Trump is a stable genius,” reads the statement. “In fact, we cannot confirm that President Trump has ever been that close to a horse, not counting Ann Coulter of course.”

Seabiscuit and Mr. Ed both concede that while they cannot confirm his prowess in a stable, the president could be a genius in other subjects.

“It is entirely possible that he is a genius in some other regard,” the pair write. “Perhaps, when it comes to running companies into the ground and filing bankruptcy, he is a genius. Or, maybe he’s a genius when it comes to making sexual comments about his daughter, that’s absolutely a possibility.”

The statement lists other things Trump might be an expert at.

“Putting together tiny models of battle ships, winning Cheeto look-alike contests, sexually harassing teenage pageant contestants, all could be things Donald Trump is an expert at,” Mr. Ed and Seabiscuit said. “We just cannot and will not sit idly by and let the work of real stable geniuses be sullied by cheap, political rhetoric.”

The White House did not respond to requests for comment.

You can read satire like this every day on The Political Garbage Chute and Alternative Facts.

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